The Truths of Being a Stay at Home Mom

Truth #1: You have to deal with a lot of shit.
I mean this both metphorically and literally (gasp!). Not only will you find yourself changing endless amounts of stinky diapers, but you also have to deal with the not-so-fun-never-ending demands of children. "Mama, I need a drink..." after his 25th freakin glass while the baby is spitting up all over your bare breast. Not to mention the taunting sound of Yo Gabba Gabba: "don't...don't...don't bite your friends", blasting in the background while your toddler is grunting and red-faced in the corner working on another epic diaper change. 

I can remember a moment when I literally was walking around with my boob out for the world (a.k.a my children) to see as I tried to reattach my newborn while simultaneously pouring a drink for my son. At that moment I glanced up into a mirror hanging on our dining room wall and realized I had shit smeared across my cheek. Yes, shit. Somehow I had smeared shit on my face. Worst part- I had changed the baby 4 hours ago and it took me that long to realize it was even there. 


Truth # 2: You may feel guilty.
For some women who stay home, they admit to feeling like they are not contributing to the family enough. Smack that right out of your head ladies. The truth is, our families could not survive without you. Sure, you may not contribute financially, but you save money by not sending the children to daycare, by not shopping for convenience (snack) foods for yourself and the kids for daycare or work, and by saving on gas money from treking to work each day. Also, it becomes easier as a stay at home mom to budget, menu plan, and shop sales (money savers!). Not to mention, you organize, schedule, educate, bathe, feed, clean, and provide for your family in endless amounts of ways. 

As a stay at home, I feel that I am not contributing to the girl-power movement per se. I do not deck myself out in business suits and heals, I do not strut into a building or office with commands or demands, I do not have the time to update myself on politics or news, I am not highly educated and I do not make people drop their mouths at my professional title. But, in my little house on my little street in my little town...they call me Mom. And god damnit, I am proud of that. I have battle wounds on my stomach, a constant aching back, and I can carry a carseat in one hand, a toddler on my hip and 5 bags of groceries at one time. Sure, I may not be the proud modern-day women taking over the world, but I'm in charge of what matters in my little dot on the map.

Truth # 3: You may not get the respect you deserve.
Now, hopefully this is not true when it comes to your husband (or children). After all. the decision for you to stay home was most likely a joint one. But as a stay at home mom, you have to be prepared to be looked down upon. Is it right? Hello no. Does it happen? Yupp.

When people ask what I do for work, I usually respond, "I'ma Mom." To this I get blank stares, a dropped mouth...or even disapproval. Some even go as far t tell me that there aunt's friend always says how lazy stay at home moms are. Are you sure this is what your aunt's friend thinks and not YOU? Then, some ask if I am bored, if I feel guilty for wasting my college education, or what the heck I do all day...as if I have nothing to do. Well...let me tell you bucko, I do a hell of a lot more than you do in a day. Infact, I can do it all with smeared shit on my face and a smile...beat that.

Truth # 4: You will never poop in peace.
This may be the worst of it ladies. As a lady...we like our privacy in the bathroom. After all, it is not a very lady-like moment. But, as a stay at home mom, your poop becomes a family affair. 

I usually have either a breastfeeding baby attached to me, a child asking me pointless questions about an absurd topics (that appraently could not wait), or a toddler crying and pulling at me with painted hands and a snotty nose, all while I'm glamorously committing this very unlady-like act and hoping for just one moment of pride. Nope, your pride goes right out the bathroom door, along with the swealtering smell of your shit. 

Truth # 5: You will someday embarrass yourself in public.
Whether you walk out the door with baby-poop smeared on your face, run into an ex-boyfriend with no makeup and a frazzled fro, or begin leaking out milk through a white t-shirt with your nipple peering through...it is inevitable that you embarrass yourself in public. At some point or another you will leave the house in slippers or pajamas without even knowing (afterall, this is your daily attire) or you will find yourself with random and uneccesary stains of spit up on your dress at a wedding. Motherhood is messy.

Truth #6: You will realize it was worth it. 
You may not be using that college degree (who really is working in the field their degree is in anyway?), you may not be taking over the world with your girl-power, you may not even get out of your pajamas for work....but you are working. Goodness gracious, are you working. You will never look back and say, "Gee, I wish I worked more." But you will always look back and say, "I wish I was home more." So, after the guilt is gone, the poop is washed off your face, the diapers are dry, the laundry is done, bellies are full, and children are sleeping...you kiss their eye lids, tuck them in, and smile at your husband and know that today was worth it.