I saw a TikTok recently that has been stuck in my head ever since. The woman in the video said, “Live as if.” As in: live as if you are already the person you want to become.
Not in a fake-it-till-you-make-it kind of way, but in an intentional, daily practice kind of way. She talked about how, if you wake up each day and “pretend” you’re already that version of yourself, the confident one, the creative one, the grounded one, the successful one, then eventually you just start becoming her. Not because it happens magically overnight, but because you’re choosing, over and over again, to show up as her.
Becoming the person you want to be is just doing the things that future version of you would actually do. Making choices that align with who you want to be, even when it feels awkward, or vulnerable, or out of character at first. And then she said something really simple: write who that person is.
Not what they want to accomplish five years from now, but who they are in everyday life. What they wear. What they do for fun. How they work, love, create, and move through the world.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. So I’m going to start writing again — not because I have some perfectly structured plan, but because the version of me I want to become writes. She sits down and puts her thoughts into words. She doesn’t wait to feel “ready.” She just begins.
So I decided to answer the questions she suggested. Not in my head, not someday, but right now — here, publicly, where it feels both exciting and a little uncomfortable.
And if you’re reading this, maybe you’ll try it too. Not because there’s a right way to do it, but because getting clear on who you’re becoming can actually change the way you show up today.
So here I am, answering her questions. Not perfectly. Not poetically. But honestly.
And maybe you’ll answer them, too.
What do they wear?
She wears clothes that look effortless but feel like intention— comfortable, eclectic, soft. She embraces her body because she loves it for her, not for others. She dresses like she just wandered in from a road trip or a thrift store or a photography retreat where woman came together to be themselves.
Overalls and chunky sweaters. Flowy pants. Used up, old shoes cause screw it. Jewelry that doesn’t match, but tells stories. Nothing pristine. Everything lived-in, loved, chosen.
What do they do for work?
She is an artist who refuses to be reduced to one medium. Photography, writing, Unraveled, teaching, experimenting—a constellation of creativity instead of a narrow lane.
She is writing her first book. It is raw, beautiful, honest and for her. It’s something she’s wanted to do her entire life and it’s time. Even if no one ever reads it.
Her work inspires without pretending.
Her online presence invites, rather than performs.
She does not hustle for legitimacy.
She creates from her center, and others recognize that.
Who are they in relationships with?
People who are….kind, quiet, safe, warm, observant, present, consistent, not afraid, and willing to do the hard things. But, more importantly, she feeds her own soul first. She does not apologize for needing space, or company, or neither. Love and friendship, for her, is not a cage but a safe harbor.
What are their friends like?
Old friends who have seen the entire evolution— the messy seasons, the ecstatic ones, the ones she thought might undo her. Friends who don’t judge. Who show up with snacks and sarcasm. Who live with their hearts cracked open and aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves and her. Women who expect her to rise, not shrink.
What is their style like?
Eclectic, layered, unpolished. Farmer meets mountain meets hippie artist. A collage of thrifted fabrics and textures that look accidental but are absolutely not. Her clothes say, I live here. In this body. On this earth. I am not hiding.
What is their signature scent?
My two favorite smells will always be vanilla and patchouli. I can’t undo that. So:
Vanilla, skin-warm and nostalgic.
Patchouli, earthy and unapologetic.
A blend of sweetness and soil.
A reminder that softness and wildness can coexist.
Where do they live?
In this house. In this life. Not chasing square footage or status symbols. What matters is simplicity and belonging, a space filled with people she loves, objects she chose with intention, and air that doesn’t demand she be anyone other than who she is. Home is wherever her people are.
What do they do for fun?
She likes simple, real-life things that don’t require performing or being “on.” She loves being outdoors: hiking, laying in the sun, being on a boat, watching the sunset on lake winnipesaukee. She’s happy people-watching, reading, listening to music, and hanging out with a few people she loves. Her idea of fun isn’t complicated. It’s just enjoying life without rushing through it and observing. She is always, always taking in everything around her.
What are their hobbies?
She writes — even when it’s messy or she doesn’t know where it’s going. She takes photos because that’s how she processes her life. She learns new things just because she finds it fun to be a beginner and push further than she thought was possible. She knows if someone else can do it, she can, too. She hikes, runs, and moves her body because it helps her feel grounded, thoughtful and beautiful. She paints occasionally, reads a lot, and likes projects that make her feel creative without pressure to be “good” at them. She cares about feeling strong, curious, and connected — not perfect.
So, now what?
The TikTok woman said, “Begin.” Begin by living as if. As if you are already the version of yourself you want to be. Not someday. Right now. So that’s what I am doing. If anyone out there is reading this, I’d love to invite you to do the same:
Write who they are.
Dress like her.
Speak like her.
Make decisions like her.
Move toward the life she lives.
So, I’m starting here—on this page, in this season, in this skin— not because I already am that woman, but because I am choosing to be her.
So the questions stand:
Who are you becoming?
What do they wear and smell like and carry with them?
What work do they wake up excited to do?
Who loves them?
How do they spend their days?
Write it down. Let yourself pretend until it stops being pretending.
Live as if— and see what happens.